What Really Matters

January 28,2026

What Gives My Life Meaning?

I plan to write about more than ‘how to write a QoL statement’ but this is the beginning. It’s about focusing on what really matters to you. We’ll also talk about attitude as a choice, creativity as more than a distraction and continuing to contribute as life-affirming.

Writing Your Quality of Life (QoL) Statement

It is the process of thinking about and writing this statement that brings you repeatedly back to what has mattered to you in your life. It is also an accounting and can be mending and healing. It is both acceptance and letting go. It is not an easy task but (I feel) a critical step in approaching dying with peace.

Having and sharing a QoL statement can also ease the emotional burden on caregivers by providing clear guidance and reducing ambiguity during critical decision points. QoL statements facilitate honest and clear communication with the health care team providing a shared language for discussing difficult topics such as prognosis, treatment limitations and end of life wishes reducing the risk of misunderstandings and conflict. This statement serves as a touch-stone for decision-making, communication; and self-reflection. Only you can truly determine your quality of life. Clinicians and caregivers can support but not define it.

There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to write this. It’s truly about what really matters to you. Your statement can be a few phrases, sentences, or a few pages. Write it in your own voice. Be honest and kind with yourself. When you finish share it with trusted family and friends. Revise it anytime conditions change. Generally, it encompasses two critical themes: What keeps you engaged with life and what you do not want.

I suggest doing some preliminary writing or journaling to help you find the thoughts and words you will want to use. I have 30+ prompts that are divided into 3 Substack posts: today’s and two more. Choose the ones that speak to you and/or make up your own. Some of the later prompts speak to regrets, losses and guilt: they speak to our common humanity and although difficult, may be healing in considering. Some of your responses may not actually go into your QoL statement but writing them can be an important preliminary process for you to proceed to write the QoL you share with others.

What Keeps Me …

It isn’t the grand things

That keep me wanting to stay

It’s the small ones—

Like the warmth & aroma of a cup of coffee

The soft weight of a pet settling beside me,

The way sunlight paints the water on a calm lake outside my window

It’s the sound of my favorite music playing from somewhere I can’t see..

It’s the feel of a soft cheek with a loved one’s kiss.

The joy of a child’s laughter.

The colors in my favorite flower.

It’s the understanding and love of a friend sitting near by

And, In spite of the losses, regrets and tears,

It’s the deep knowing that I am still here.

Wherever I am, however I am,

I am still me.

Here are some prompts to start you thinking, feeling and writing. There will be more to come but if you think of some that are helpful, please share with a post.

1. What gives my life meaning?

2. What moments make me feel most alive?

3. What makes me smile?

4. What small joys sustain me?

5. What parts of my life feel essential to my sense of self?

6. How critical is it to me to see, hear, speak, use my hands, walk,

and take care of my toileting needs?

7. What do I need of music in my life now?

8. What do I want to explore and learn in these final days or years?

9. What ‘truth’ do I want to honor?

10. What brings me peace

Sharon

Remember—These posts are a gift. Follow, share, subscribe for free but do not subscribe with money.